Coastal Tidewater Senior Empowerment and Advocacy Agency

When I was six years old, I watched my grandmother’s elderly friends wait for months just for a visit or even just a phone call from a loved one. We visited the nursing home often and I noticed how some waited days for staff to finally get them up from their bed to a wheelchair. I remember how they smiled and were visibly overjoyed when it was therapy day! One of the roommates that my grandmother had would be so excited, that the night before PT, she could barely sleep! She would laugh, tell stories, and chat away all evening in anticipation of the next day, things like ….what staff members she may see being wheeled down the hall to the exercise room, what outfit she was going to wear, and even how she wanted her hair done in the morning before the next day at PT. I vividly remember being happy to go with mom on those particular days because Grandma’s roommate would tell me funny jokes at dinner, then she would make us both “pudding mustaches” always insisting that I have some with her. 

She was no longer looking out the window, mumbling incoherently at the T.V, or saying angry curse words when someone (even me) walked into their small, shared room. Of course, I was just a small child in elementary school at the time but I knew that whatever it was that made her so happy, it must have been amazing. I was not aware until years later that all of her excitement and joy came from simply being wheeled to the PT room which was two doors down from her own, simply to have only forty-five minutes of physical therapy. And just as quickly as she was bathed and dressed in a clean patient, she was taken back to her room after less than one hour to socialize and interact with another human being. She was extremely lonely. 

I saw patients with Alzheimer’s Disease and other related disorders, (ADRD) walking around this facility alone and lost, while they really needed some type of specialty care. It seemed as though they were invisible or “see through”, like a window, as staff walked by them as if they were an inanimate object on the wall instead of a human being. Even as a child, I felt the heavy, unfair weight of that disparage. I couldn’t understand what they had done to be treated so badly, to be forgotten by the very family that they once took care of and loved so dearly. I saw what happens when mobility fades, money runs thin, and family isn't there: our elders—the very people who built our communities, paid their taxes, and raised us, simply fall through the cracks, fade away, and be forgotten. I remember the sadness and loneliness. And as a small child I began to fear becoming elderly, not wanting that life to one day be my own.

In this country, we have a disposable culture. When something gets old, we throw it away. Tragically, we have applied that same stigma to our seniors. We treat them as if they have no more use, leaving them to "waste away" behind the same four walls, isolated, lonely, and starved for the simplest human interaction.

The Psychology of the Box

I know what it’s like to look at the same four walls and be unable to escape. I have learned through personal experience that when you are trapped in a box, whether by choice, circumstance, or age, that love and care are your only lifelines. Isolation is a prison, and for many seniors in the Chesapeake and Tidewater areas, their reality has become exactly that. I’ve spent years listening to the elderly while working in insurance and various other customer service roles. I heard the desperation in their voices just hoping to have a five-minute conversation with me because they hadn't spoken to another soul in months. It is sad, it is wrong, and it is a future that awaits every single one of us, regardless of race, color, or creed. Only death will keep us from getting old and becoming elderly, nothing else. And if that’s the case, then why do we do so little for seniors and the elderly in our community, when in time, we will all become “senior citizens”? The question is: will we be ready? And if we are not ready, who will be there to help us? Who will stand up and fight for us when we are unable to fight for ourselves? 

Our Call to Action

Coastal Tidewater Senior Empowerment and Advocacy Agency, Inc is the culmination of a lifelong dream to break this cycle. We aren't just here to provide a service; we are here to change the social stigma. We are here to say that “Senior Lives Matter”! We believe that the "golden years" should be golden. Many seniors are stepping into their golden years without resources, without education, and without advocates. Whether it's training a senior for a new job, fighting for better regulations in care facilities, or simply providing the companionship that keeps a mind sharp and a spirit alive—that is where we come in.

We want to change the way the Tidewater community prepares for old age to ensure that the final chapters of life are not spent in a box. Seniors can and want to live fulfilling and joyful lives, even with mobility or disability challenges.  Let’s start taking steps toward change now and help our seniors thrive in our community with dignity, purpose, and joy.